Tesla, the self-described ‘greatest company in the world’, has created safety limitations on their self-driving automobiles in residential sections. Though the cars have been awarded ‘Vin Diesel’ level street cred in terms of automatic racing, they have been shamefully awarded ‘Tyrese Gibson’ level driving in residential sections.

Tesla A.I. specialist ‘David Bowman’ has this to say “When our Hydraulic Automatic Lead drives near small playgrounds, the vehicle will stay still and rev the engine until the children run away.”

Further more, the A.I. is having hard times understanding commands in terms of the home-based commands. “I spoke very clearly, HAL, open the garage doors. And it simply responded, ‘I’m sorry Dave, I can’t do that.'”

In other news, there have been a few recalls of the Model R (short for requiem) because the models have been shown to drive at high speeds, unbuckle the seatbelts and then crash into walls.

Bowman continued “We have a long road to go, hopefully we are safely buckled in!”

More about Self-Driving Tesla

Taylor Tinker doesn’t drive cars because he is wheel-chair bound and has a difficult time moving down the steps to his driveway.