A failed immigration policy in Britain has turned a lovely young British woman into a kidnapping ISIS recruiter.

A 34-year-old woman kidnapped her two children and attempted to take them to Syria where they could be used for the further devastation of that God forsaken country. Sources confirm she was Britain born, however after going to Palestine or Pakistan or whatever, she came back super religious and talking crazy stuff about magic and eternal life. If Britain had the frijoles to bar their citizens from going to any country with a large Muslim population, this wouldn’t have happened. This lovely Brit would be drinking tea and eating terrible food with her lovely Western children, but instead she’s in jail probably watching that awful BBC programming meant for red-coat intellectual assholes.

She’s only doing five years in jail thanks to Britains Liberals, but hopefully she’ll learn the truth about Sharia Law somewhere in that cell with good ol’ correction’s officer underground justice. Now if this had happened in America under the eagle-like perception of Donald Trump, then we know that the sub-prison prison that he talks about so much would smack her with the constitution so hard she spits amendments.

Charles Countryguy has never been to Britain and refuses to eat fish because their ‘will is too weak.’