The Syrian migrant crisis is growing unruly and out-of-hand with most nations completely shutting down borders. Germany however are steadfast in their promise to take in as many as they can. North Africa however has turned away many of the refugees in which Berlin, who aids them with cash, says “You will lose financial support if you do not accept those refugees.”

A tremendously ballsy move from Sigmar Gabriel, the senior vice-principal. A move so ballsy in fact that most scientists in the Deutschland are presently trying to estimate just how big, Mr. Gabriel’s balls are.

Based on his gait, the size of pants he wears and his statements about strong arming the country of North Africa into being a country that does the right thing, we estimate, in our labs that Sigmars balls are somewhere between softballs and ripe grapefruits.

Other studies have put them as large as a deflates basketball, while the states of Texas and Alabama claim them to be no larger than peas (study under scrutiny for bias.)

How North Africa will react to these claims and whether or not they will take in the migrants will of course result in their very own test of testicular fortitude.

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Pierro Deigh has made love to people from all nations and accepts migrants and vagrants alike.