The Academy has announced today that they are going to restructure the voting process and reappoint seats in the academy to more accurately reflect the world by making it 48% female and 14% culturally diverse.  The assistant to the Academy manager had this to say:

“Merit is no longer our primary concern, if we can pass up a better resume in order to insure that we are not seen as racist, we will definitely do so.”

When pressed further on the matter the assistant said that they “had to run, the coffee is getting cold.”

This has created a troubling turn of events because most people involved in the process now feel improperly represented. People of asian descent are dissenting by saying that they should accurately make up 1/3rd of the academy voting while in reality they only make up >5%.

When we asked Academy member, Laverne Gonzalez, the Half-Black, Half-Latina, lesbian actress what she thought, she simply shrugged and said “I get to vote four times.”

More on the Academy’s Decision

Harry Buhte is spanish and didn’t get invited to shit.