North Korea has reportedly said they will be launching their new long-ranged missile in a week. North Korea is known for its rockets and weekly schedules, so the UN isn’t really get all… up in arms over this.

Considering that most world leaders have bunkers, it’s likely that once an insane dictator starts a nuclear war most of us will be looking at a bright, flashing light before we’re wiped from existence.

Not me, though, I’ve been planning for this for several years. I’ve got a bunker stocked with forty years-worth of canned beans and vacuum sealed peanut butter sandwiches. I had some livestock down there but while writing this I realize I haven’t been feeding them, so I better clean up whatever the hell is down there before next week.

More about Korean Missile Tests

Ono Huigo is mortified of the Koreans because he has a rib injury and laughing disrupts the healing process.