Twitter has launched an official assault today on the higher power himself and challenged a very devout religious group in the progress. Twitter has banned 125,000 accounts related to ISIS.

Now why would Twitter want to go to the effort of harming the goddess of marriage and health? Well the answer is simple, Twitter blames the Gods of Egypt for the zika virus. Plagues and mosquitoes have been the egyptian M.O. for centuries and them throwing in the voodoo shrunken head bullshit was just too much for the Twitter CEO who said this:

“Yo man, tiny heads is super fucked up.”

And then he left me with the bill (seems to be a trend with these guys.)

So I then asked followers of ISIS about it and they had this to say:

“I don’t know why everyone is losing their head over it, I just pray to them so that I have a happy and healthy marriage, praise be to ISIS.”

After we had our discussions we made sure to go from ear to ear at the top of the ziggurat to insure that all the blood of the sacrifice went into our spiritual well being.

More about Twitter fighting ISIS

Harry Buhte is never smoking peyote again.