Dave Mirra, BMX superstar, professional bicyclist and all around good on two wheels has decided that conforming to the bullshit that is earth based gravity is no longer in his contract.

Mr. Mirra (A.K.A. Pro-Biker) has taking a one-bullet trip to hell, to pop some wheelies and flips over the devils horns and impress all the winged succubi of the underworld. It is not completely certain as to why he chose that specific destination but apparently friends that were close to him said that “The gravity is much more extreme down there.”

Where Mr.Mirra (A.K.A. Captain Rubber) received his information is unsure at the moment, but it is suspected that Mat Hoffman (A.K.A. Totes not Mirra) tipped him off so that the scale would favor him for the Valhalla X-Games starting next Ragnarok.

More about Dave MIrra (H)offing himself.

Harry Buhte doesn’t understand BMX but he did his research on 4chan.