I’ve been avoiding Ben Stiller films ever since the loss of my wife, who happens to look a lot, like him. It’s not that she looks like a man, just a female version of him. The film, however, drew me in, knowing that there would be an androgynous male in the movie played by Benedict Cumberbatch.

Androgyny has always fascinated me since I was a wee lad. My wife was a perfect embodiment of that, and when she died in that terrible thumbtack incident, I couldn’t bear to look at Ben Stiller’s mopey face any longer.

This film changed me. I was three bottles of Jack away from hanging myself, but the concept of being a male model has changed everything. In the spirit of my deceased wife, I will live on as a Drag Queen in her name. Thank you Zoolander 2. Four beautiful stars.

John ‘Jane’ Jinger is neutrally excited about the whole ordeal.