Carmel Indiana is throwing down the gauntlet for what may be the most useless statement to brag about in the history of things to brag about. Their girls swimming team from their high school has become the most successful sports team in a sport, in American History.

For their sport, their consistent run of girls and swimming have been more successful and thus can be classified as better atheletes than the 1972 Dolphins, Gretzkys Oilers or Kings, and the NBA Bulls.

To challenge this, other states are submitting their own win streaks. Oregon has shown that one of their schools have been undefeated for 47 years in one-armed Ping Pong.

What does this mean for the future of sports? Clearly everyone should just give up, because it’s going down in history that no team is better than the Carmel Indiana Girls Swimming team, 30 years running…. swimming, whatever.

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Scott Tick scoffed and this paper wrote itself.