Despite what one of my associates had to say earlier regarding the then-‘alleged’ death of Scalia, I can with certainty confirm that Justice Scalia is now Dead Scalia.

My sources on the other side confirm that he is lobbying for Satan in the underworld and deregulating pitchfork usage by cacodemons and lesser demons alike.

My ritual psalm tarot card reading friend tells me that he misses his family but more importantly that a conservative voice should replace him on the supreme court. My tarot card reading friend being the shotgun-toting Charlie Countryguy and thus, I refute most of the claims stated in this article.

No really, he is dead.

Magnus Byargenflargen needs not to write his own logline.