Okay folks, Magnus here, going to zoom in as much information about what Microsoft has been up to, here we go.

Microsoft has officially closed down Lionhead studios, famous for the Fable series. This came as a shock because they had to scrap a project with significant backing known as Fable Legends. Peter Molyneux has not been reached out to for word but most assume he’s still masturbating over the first one and pretending everything is fine.

Next, Microsoft is making a software push into Linux. By trading blows with Oracle in terms of matching product lines for the component. This also comes as a great surprise to people on Linux because they switched to Linux to get away from Microsoft.

And finally, Microsoft had to close down another one of it’s facilities, the rehab center for kids-f******-your-mom. There has been a great spike since Halo and Call of Duty came out last year, of underage children swearing on their lives that they f****** other players moms, the facility has just been overhauling and not been worth the effort. Mr.Gates said “It’s come to the point where…. it’s just out of our control.”

Magnus Byargenflargen is the editor-in-chief for Shart Daily.