Behind an array of closed doors, the most powerful men in America are debating what the appropriate steps would be in order to stop Donald Trump from running. This is an astounding situation because it might be the first time that we see a human being of this generation transcend into Godhood.

There are several gods who have already transcended and live to just pass on lessons: Keanu Reeves, Nicolas Cage are the two most well known. But according to the 1%’s of the world ‘There are too many gods right now.’

Trump, who has been regularly performing black magic and sacrifices at the cost of his humor, gumption and hair, is becoming too strong for the campaign.

“We are afraid that if he becomes president, he may indeed ascend and become the god of Hubris. We cannot allow that, such a being would be the downfall for most of civilization.”

We’ve reached out to Trumps camp who all bare the signature ‘Shit-eating smirk’ (seen below) and they are all excited to give their lives for Trump to be able to figuratively ‘masturbate’ on America, the way he has desecrated the world of business.


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Drew American is an avid Gary Johnson fan, but is swinging towards Bernie right now.