I arrived with my escort to the doorway and was immediately required to chug a sugar-free redbull to show my competence. The doorman looked at me and nodded while saying “sudo.” I repeated and was allowed entry.

The inverted warehouse, Amazon’s underground app store. As far as the eye could see there were apps and programs for sale. OS’ on the down low, classic flappy bird still with the mono-buttom scheme and hell even a beta version of Angry birds.

But I had to go deeper, .Tor deeper. Toward the back was another door, I chug a redbull and say “Sudo.” No avail. Tattooed on his beefy neck is the Fire OS symbol, so I say the new word “Smile.” I’m allowed in.

Here is where the goods are, inexplicable things and unchecked, triple encrypted browsing. Three layers deep in the Amazon facility and I’ve found the darkest app content available, such as: [Information Redacted]

More about Amazon Underground

Taylor Tinker now has a Fire OS phone, a gift from article writing bot.