I want to speak openly and write an editorial about how women are portrayed in gaming as well as how they are treated within the video game community.

I hit the first real snag in writing my essay when I named it “Betwixt Fire and Spears.” I named it this because no matter where you are on the debate, you will either be severely burned by one community, or skewered by the other aspect of it.

However, that is not how it was read by the test group who read the actual article. Immediately I would get responses like “The spear is a phallic object and it is already triggering me.” or “Why fire, because women are raging bitches who have oven coochies? Or is it because females are the devil?”

It’s as though the test group (comprised equal parts feminists and male gamers) had not actually read the article or listened to the points presented.

The biggest problem I faced when presenting this article was the timers we implemented, how much time they spent reading the article against how much time they spent on twitter.

One scared intern who insists on remaining anonymous says “It was staggering, 72% were tweeting, while reading the article, and mostly about other people and how they reacted to the article. So we have these people reacting to what they think are people reading the article, when in actuality, most of those people were reacting to what they were reading on twitter about each other. The whole study and essay are being severely derailed because everybody is reading what everyone thinks the article is about as opposed to just reading what was said. They lack context.”

So I have decided to, instead of releasing the paper, release this article about our study. I’m questioning putting in my resignation, but I think I’ll wait for twitter to tell me to do it to help save this company face. Also, to all the people who’ve read this far, thanks for not tweeting negatively about it… yet.

Babbage Chootypoo insists on being as gender less as possible… but he pees standing up.