An Israeli scientist has helped develop a method to control uncontrollable bleeding. So this won’t clean up the blood from Israel’s hands, but it surely will keep people from bleeding too much.

Perhaps it will be used to save all of those limbless Palestinian kids after their village gets carpet bombed. Sure, they’ll have to spend their rest of their lives being dragged around by an eyeless dog, but at least they were saved, right?

And now Palestinian women on their periods won’t even need sanitation material, so they can stop begging those armed guards pointing barrels right into their faces for something to clean themselves off with.

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Ellen Darude is a native to the parts somewhere around there.