The North Korean Supreme Court (It’s a real thing, we looked it up) has sentenced an American tourist by the name of Otto Warmbier to 15 years of hard labor for violating the national law of that country.

It’s a hard pill to swallow for most Americans, but that is the situation, despite North Korea being the equivalent of national equivalent to Scrappy-Do mixed with the dead version of Saddam Hussein (as in no plausible threat) we can’t do anything to bust this Otto gentleman out.

“Firstly, let me go on record for saying that Otto was a complete moron.” His mother went on record to say this. Otto was found guilty of trying to steal a ‘propaganda banner’ and since North Korea only has the budget to create about eight of them, it’s a capital offense.

“Our nation will not stand for any injustices, regardless of where the people come from. If you have a problem with that, you can put the gloves on and we can settle it in the ring with my bodyguards.” Translated statement from Kim Jong Un.

More about North Korean Detainment

Babbage Chootypoo feels confident about their left hook but doesn’t feel like flying to Korea.