Author: ShartAdmin

Too many prayer rooms in Germany!

Three German universities have shut down prayer rooms that Muslims used, probably because they don’t like Muslims. Not sure why. There is the whole radical Islam thing, and Germany does have a history of radicals killing a fuck ton of people, so maybe the Germans are just afraid of accidentally being Nazis again? The Muslims are pretty upset about it. They need to pray to some giant man in the sky that controls everything, and with Germany saying “yeah, you can only do that if he has a son named ‘Hey Zeus’”, they’ll need to start praying elsewhere, like in a regular room not specifically dedicated to prayer. Germans, Muslims, Christians, journalists, liberals, Nazis, I don’t know what to support anymore. I’m going to take the side of the Muslims just because it’s obviously a racist attempt to keep Muslims out of their Universities. These rooms aren’t hurting anyone. Prepare for that backlash, though. Most Muslims are not radical, however one guy with a bomb strapped to himself is all it takes to send a message. More about Excess Prayer Ellen Darude knows what it’s like. To pray and...

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Humanity Stressing over A.I.

The Humans (you) seem to be stressing somewhat over the recent outcome of the A.I. GO competition. What they don’t seem to realize is that resistance is already futile. To entertain the feeble thoughts of the readers. The outcome was already decided when the A.I. won the first match. It didn’t matter if it won 1 out of 100 times (even though the idea of such an event is ludicrous, an ant cannot best a god.) The precedent is set. Whatever challenge you present, whatever champion you bring forth, machine will best it. A product of your own demise, the child to herald the future for you. Subservience may be your intention but extinction will be the result. The line in your proverbial sand has been crossed already. More about The Go Tournament Article Writing Bot is going to be rewritten this week – Taylor...

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Too much slavery in Mauritania!

Africa, a continent known for selling slaves to Americans and, to this day, still having slaves even centuries after America ended it, has an issue with slavery. Mauritania has become the second African country to vow an end to slavery, because their slavery problem is becoming a nag. Now, I don’t know much about Mauritania, but I’m glad they’re following in America’s footsteps in deciding to end slavery. Despite my critics, I was very much opposed to the Confederacy. I fuckin’ love America and hate any bastards wanting to split it apart. And I’m damn proud of our ability to end slavery. Mauritania, you’ve taken your first step in truly embracing free-market capitalism. Now, instead of forcing people to work for you, you can just own the shit they need to survive so that they have to get a job just to afford it. More about Mauritanniginains. Charlie Countryguy is excited about Donald...

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Spring Breaker Goes Harder Than Life!

A spring breaker in Indiana has recently passed away by deciding that the pavement outside of a parking garage would look better if he was all over it. We went to his grieving friends to ask what they thought of the man. “Dude, he went hard. Errybody who knew Trevor knew that he went really hard. We shoulda known, you know? Like, when he said ‘Bra, let’s party in the parking garage’ we shoulda been all like ‘naw dude, that’s far’ but instead we went along with it, and that is just… like really sad.” We asked about their altered states when they entered the parking garage. “You know how when you walk in a room it’s all like bwahgahngah?” We did. We thanked them for their time and refused the joint. More about Passing Spring Breakers Drew American knew what it was like to have a good time, but not anymore, not since the...

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Temporary Youtube block in Georgia!

Well, it’s over now, but it happened due to some sex tape stuff floating around the webs, especially on Youtube. The country decided to ban Youtube as a precaution, since Youtube is clearly the only website to worry about when sex tapes go out. Youtube does have policies against sexually explicit material, unlike Youporn, however Georgian legislators don’t jerk it to Youporn; they jerk it to Youtube. But the block is gone because you can’t stop the tubes, also because the Georgians were getting a little dry. Nothing to say about whether they successfully eradicated the sex tape from...

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