Now that multiple tests are yielding positive results for the application of medical marijuana such as: Treating Epilepsy, Multiple Sclerosis, and treating pain in general. Big Pharma have taken the great burden of success on themselves by throwing a celebration. “Nobody fought harder than we did, nobody did more tests than we did and now that legalization seems less like a dream and more like a reality, nobody is going to price gouge more than we do!” The last part was relayed in a confusing manner and so we followed up with the spokesperson by asking “What do you mean price gouging, for usage of medical marijuana?” To which the spokeman simply raised two middle fingers up in our faces and yelled. After the press conference we could make out the spokesperson in his car despite it being clouded with smoke, he managed to roll down the window and threw a few joints (rolled up marijuana cigarettes) at us and yelled “Here, test this, maybe it’ll cure ugly you poor piece of s***!” then drove off in his Ferrari. Drew American doesn’t quite know how he feels about what happened that...Read More
I want to speak openly and write an editorial about how women are portrayed in gaming as well as how they are treated within the video game community. I hit the first real snag in writing my essay when I named it “Betwixt Fire and Spears.” I named it this because no matter where you are on the debate, you will either be severely burned by one community, or skewered by the other aspect of it. However, that is not how it was read by the test group who read the actual article. Immediately I would get responses like “The spear is a phallic object and it is already triggering me.” or “Why fire, because women are raging bitches who have oven coochies? Or is it because females are the devil?” It’s as though the test group (comprised equal parts feminists and male gamers) had not actually read the article or listened to the points presented. The biggest problem I faced when presenting this article was the timers we implemented, how much time they spent reading the article against how much time they spent on twitter. One scared intern who insists on remaining anonymous says “It was staggering, 72% were tweeting, while reading the article, and mostly about other people and how they reacted to the article. So we have these people reacting to what they think are people...Read More
Hello again dear readers, Magnus Byargenflargen here giving you a recap of the week before and a look forward to the future, the goals and ideals of this company reflecting in the very words that you read now. Last week, we officially launches and continued a few of our web series’ designed to stimulate and inspire from our YouTube channel, please head on over and give them a thumbs up and a few million views, that would help our budget extremely. Next the news for the week, today is officially pi day, a day created by corporate conspirators in order to make us all shift to the ‘not as good as cake’ equivalent of pie. Whoever would eat the flaky, dry, overcooked slice of garbage escapes me. Finally, the word of the week: Regret, showing trepidation in actions of the past. Ex: “I show absolutely no regret in my choosing to have this divorce. [Because I am a heartless troglodyte.]” – Jessica Samson (Formerly Jessica...Read More
The government is hammer the developers of WhatsApp to allow them into their encrypted messages and WhatsApp is saying “No Way Jose!” the resulting conversations are hotly debated and fought for with the department of Justice replying “My name isn’t Jose and we still need those messages.” So we reached out to the developers for a statement: “We were 100% certain that his name was Jose, maybe it’s John or something, something with a J I’m sure, but we are not giving up our encryption.” We ended up passing by the department of justice and passed the message along to their reply: “They did not f******* say that! Are you kidding me? Un-f*******-believable. His name is Steve and he’s been trying to get into contact with them for months! They’re giving up on encryption alright!” Our personal opinion is that encryption should be allowed to stay regardless of government peer pressure. More about WhatsApp Debate Taylor Tinker is super upset that this article isn’t...Read More
The people are trying to get Brazil’s president to resign because they feel that they have an excess of leaders. In modern times of gay rights and fighting against racism, the people of the world are finally progressive enough to see where the oppression truly lies: in government. Now that we’re finally not teaching creationism in schools and pointing out how the KKK don’t deserve free speech, people are finally becoming intelligent enough to oppose something as irrational and morally indefensible as a system of legalized and systematic coercion. So what’s next for the Brazilian people? I don’t know, they’ll probably elect a new leader because the world is a terrible place and I can’t wait to die. More about Brazilian Presidents Karl Sharts, once again, posting where he...Read More
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