Author: ShartAdmin

Zoe Quinn to be portrayed on film!

Zoe Quinn,the Joan of Arc of our time, who has been a developer of a groundbreaking video game, a writer of an autobiography detailing your heroic battle against MRA trolls, a Cracked writer. And now, the star of your own groundbreaking movie? The movie, which has been in talks since November of last year, has had names such as Scarlett Johannson attached to it. But recently, the project has taken the aim that it truly needs to. The project is about overcoming adversity, breaking out of the stereotypes and rising to your own true power. So the current talk to play the part is none other than the wickedly talented ‘Michael B. Jordan’ from the stellar hit ‘Fant4stick.’ After the hit of ‘Creed’ and the acting chops of ‘The Night Before’ Clearly Jordan is the best actor for the part of Zoe Quinn, the social justice warrior. May she be forever proud of the casting choices of the producers. More about Zoe Quinn Movie Toby Onatubee is a blind, deaf, midget living out of San...

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APB: Mao the golden God is on the loose.

The 120-foot tall effigy of Mao has vanished. Local authorities are alarmed and upset at the propaganda suggesting that it was torn down. One of the local groundskeeper from Henan had this to say: (Translated)” They are refuting the facts! Mao is out there, walking around. The only safety is through prayer!” While other news outlets are reporting that the structure was torn down by locals, Shart Daily believes in the truth. Be on the lookout, if you see the 120-foot, golden embodiment of Mao Zedong shambling around in the forest, alert the local authorities immediately. To learn more about the statue of Mao Pierro Deigh is the main correspondent for international affairs and news. He resides in France and doesn’t leave his...

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GM closes their ‘Fiscal Responsibility’ division.

GM are under fire presently for being culpable to over 100 deaths. These allegations are set against evidence linking them to knowingly overlooking an ignition defect that would have cost a mere 90 cents to fix. In response to this the GM President, Nothe Realguy, had this to say “We are going to clean house, those who are to blame will receive proper punishment.” GM has publicly closed their ‘Fiscal Responsibility’ division, whom they say, are the real culprits. The ninety employees have been fired, and are currently under investigation for embezzlement. To revamp faith and goodwill in the company, Realguy has presented the “Dollar-menu” difference. In an act of pure altruism, GM has given a stipend to all those affected by the vehicular defects. The stipend is for the ninety cents they should have spent on the car, as well as an additional ten cents to make it valid for any dollar-menu item at McDonalds. *State sales tax, non applicable.* Learn more about GM Pauly Ridden is the head Business and Finances author for Shart Daily. He appreciates a good cognac and...

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Bimek SLV Turns Your Balls Off For You!

  A German carpenter, Clemens Bimek, has revolutionized the world of testicles. By creating a dual-valve system that clamps down on the tubes and allows you to control the flow of sperm. The small valve has an even smaller switch, which allows you to red-light/green-light your minute minutemen. The device lasted a long time before coming to fruition. Bimek began the idea over ten years ago, pulling out only a few times because he needed a moment; before coming to market. “We [had] many setbacks…. specifically the power outage of 2002, which resulted in the accidental impregnation of 14 women.” – Uninformed Bystander The result of that power outage made the creators rework the concept entirely. They are also in the conceptual stages of the female version, the Vagacuum. But Bimek has changed the game, with a simple and safe procedure, every man can have gummy-bear sized switches, to turn off their baby-makers, into baby-fakers. Learn How The Process Works! Taylor Tinker is the presiding technological enthusiast and head technology writer of Shart Daily. He lives in Montana with his wife and dog,...

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